Be Open to Life Experiences

"Don't limit yourself. You will have a million different experiences in your life that affect you in unimaginable ways. Follow your passions and be true to yourself, but also be willing to let those voices change as the years go by. Every time you reinvent youreself or your calling, you will be a fuller and better woman for it."

Katie Mitchell Hall taught high school literature before making the decision to be a stay-at-home mom. She enjoys traveling with her entire family, hoping to instill a sense of adventure and openness to other cultures in her children and blogs about motherhood at Mama the Reader. Excerpted from Her Own Way: Creating an Authentic Life.

Art as Meditation

What is art to you? A form of personal expression? A therapeutic activity? A profession? A means of communication?

Perhaps it is all of these things and more. Lately I’ve been thinking about art—which, for me, is usually photography—as a form of meditation. I am truly in my element when I am shooting. When I look through the viewfinder, it narrows my focus—much as sitting and looking at a candle might. It calls me to be present in the moment. I let go of everything else in my life at that time.

I suppose a difference is that I am working hard—putting physical, mental and emotional energy into what I’m doing. I’m aware of subtle changes in light and the environment. And I tend to be having an ongoing conversation with myself, a series of non-stop questions: What compels me? How else might I look at this? Can I move in closer and simplify the image? What needs to be eliminated? What is the essence of the subject. And making dozens of decisions as I go. Still, it grounds me in the present, much as other meditative acts do.

How would you describe art?

My Favorite Things: Reflection

Those who have attended my workshops or retreats, or worked with me one-on-one, know that I'm big on reflection. And by that, I do not mean living in the past. I simply mean reflecting on experiences long enough to learn from them. I believe we gain experience, skills and knowledge by doing, while we achieve understanding, insight and wisdom by reflecting. Reflection completes the learning process; it helps our experience sink in and gives it meaning. Reflection allows us to adapt our ways and thinking as we move forward as well. It is an essential tool for personal growth.

The next time you have a significant experience or complete a major undertaking, take time to reflect. What did you learn? What was the best part of the experience? What was the most difficult or challenging? How might you have done things differently? What potential might this lead to?

Here are two easy ways to reflect: If you like to write, explore the experience and your learnings in your journal or write a letter to a mentor or friend. If you prefer to talk things over, then have a friend join you for lunch, coffee or a drive in the country and discuss your experience and learnings. Doing so will help you gain more from your experience than simply the experience itself.

Photo: Glass tile reflects in Austin, Texas, pool designed by Da Vida Pools.

How We Survive Long After We Die

“Whether we know it or not, we transmit the presence of everyone we have ever known, as though by being in each other’s presence we exchange our cells, pass on some of our life force, and then we go on carrying that other person in our body, not unlike springtime when certain plants in fields we walk through attach their seeds in the form of small burrs to our socks, our pants, our caps, as if to say, ‘Go on, take us with you, carry us to root in another place.’ This is how we survive long after we are dead. This is why it is important who we become, because we pass it on.”

– Natalie Goldberg, Long Quiet Highway

My Favorite Things: Imperfection

Instead of picking up the perfect conchs and whelks on the beach, I go for those with gaping holes that reveal their interior spirals. The dishes we eat on are handmade; no two match exactly. My furniture, rather than shiny and new, is a random collection of family hand-me-downs (some for many generations) or favorite finds from the antique market. They show their age; some are crooked, dinged, or have mismatching handles. I love old books, weathered with age and with notes written in the margins. My favorite time of the year in the garden is fall, when everything is beginning to fade. I believe in the beauty of imperfection—both in objects and in people. It is often in those imperfections that we discover stories, struggles, meaning and character.

Pursuing Multiple Passions

"[I am passionate about] expression, creativity, design. I can't remember not being this way. I always like to make things, wear things, and the sing, dance, draw, and write. By the time I was eight, after reading a biography of Nellie Bly, I decided I wanted to be a journalist. It could help me tie together as many of the things I loved as possible, I reasoned. I did become a juornalist, and followed that profession for 30 years. It was an absorbing pursuit. I resumed drawing and painting almost 10 years ago, and that has been rewarding as I've built a path for myself in a nonverbal pursuit."

Mary Kay Culpepper is a writer, editor and artist who is perhaps best known for her nine years at the helm of the country's largest-circulation epicurean magazine, Cooking Light, where she served as editor-in-chief. Excerpted from Her Own Way: Creating an Authentic Life.

What's Your Ideal Workspace?

"Appealing workplaces are to be avoided. One wants a room with no view, so imagination can meet memory in the dark.... Once, fifteen years ago, I wrote in a cinder-block cell over a parking lot. It overlooked a tar-and-gravel roof. This pine shed under trees is not quite so good as the cinder-block study was, but it will do."

- Annie Dillard

We each have our own environmental needs and preferences when it comes to setting up spaces in which to create. Some look for the right colors, play soft music in the background, or surround themselves with objects for inspiration. Others, such as the author Annie Dillard, desire no distractions--just a simple table in an unadorned room with adequate light and essential tools of the trade. In what kind of workspace are you most creative and productive?

5 Easy Ways to Achieve a Few Moments of Mindfulness

I read an article recently citing new research that shows as little as six minutes of mindful activity before a class or test can improve retention and test scores. A few moments of mindfulness can benefit us in so many other ways as well. Indeed, if we just take a little time to slow down, relax and focus, we can do just about anything that requires attention better.

I find this is especially important when diving into creative work. In fact, my favorite part of the creative process is when I am able to achieve a state of creative flow--when I'm totally immersed in the work and oblivious to everything else in my life. But how do we pull that off when there is so much going on around us? Between work demands, families that need our attention, the constant barrage of media and electronic communication, traffic jams and lengthy to-do lists, it can be a real challenge to unwind and focus on just one thing with intensity. Yet, there are several simple acts we can take to help facilitate this process. Here are a few:

WRITE IT DOWN. One of the quickest and easiest is to simply grab a pen and paper and write down what’s on your mind—a quick, short list of the things that are important and demanding your attention. Now then, fold the paper and tuck it in a pocket or some other place for safekeeping. When you are done with your creative work, your list will be there waiting for you. You don’ t have to worry about forgetting a thing.

VISUALIZATION. Sit comfortably and quietly, upright and with your hands placed loosely on your thighs or in your lap. Gently close your eyes, relax your facial muscles, and take a few moments to become aware of your breathing. If you can do so comfortably, begin to lengthen your breath slightly—keeping the exhale longer than the inhale. Do not push the breath. As you focus on your breathing, it is normal for thoughts to cross your mind. As they do, acknowledge them and then consciously let them go. Try doing this visually—for instance, picturing these thoughts on a raft floating out to sea or sprouting wings and flying away. Once you begin to relax, slowly return to your normal breath, open your eyes, and turn your focus to your creative work.

RELAXATION. Try a short yoga session--perhaps six minutes in a restorative pose or one or two poses done repetitively. I especially like cat pose for this. A short meditation--just sitting and focusing on your breath, a candle or a mantra--is ideal. And if you're feeling tired, why not take a short nap?

GO FOR A WALK. A walk around the block, in the park or simply through my own garden is a simple and easy way to shift my mindset. The fresh air, change of scenery, movement and connection with nature all have benefits.

REPETITIVE ACT. Simple, brainless, repetitive act such as sweeping, watering plants, pulling weeds or washing a few dishes by hand can do wonders to clear the mind.

Devoting even a few minutes to mindfulness and letting go can help make your creative endeavor more enjoyable and productive.

My Favorite Things: Native Wildflowers

As a young girl, I would follow my grandfather along the woodland trails surrounding his house. He would shuffle along, pause, point to a small flower and call it something I could neither understand nor remember. Years later, I realized that he was giving me the Latin names for plants: Cypripedium acaule (pink ladyslipper), Trillium cernuum (nodding trillium or wakerobin), Podophyllum peltatum (mayapple) and Jeffersonia diphylla (twinleaf).

Years later, my dad and I would walk through the Chattahoochee National Forest in spring--usually around the first weekend of May--when the wildflowers were at their peak in the higher elevations. We'd see these same wildflowers and more, and identify them together. One day, we stumbled across an entire hillside of trillium (photo).

These woodland wildflowers tend to be ephemeral plants--perennials with a short life cycle that appear suddenly in spring, and just as quickly vanish from the scene, dying back to their root system until the following spring. They are best enjoyed in their native habitat and are generally protected from collection in the wild. If you'd like to add these plants to your garden, be sure to purchase legally propagated plants from local or mail-order nurseries. To enjoy them at their best, why not go for a walk in the woods? It's that time of year!

Creativity Required to Keep Things Running Smoothly

"I have found it challenging, as a woman and mother--to organize my time and schedule for children. I suspect most mothers would tell you the same thing. More often than not, it seems to fall to the mother to get and keep everyone else organized. My husband has always been extremely helpful. Even so, it takes being both proactive and creative to keep everything running smoothly. As far as business, more and more opportunities have opened up for women, and I thank the strong trailblazers that are responsible. I hope that I can be that catalyst for others."

Diane Robillard Kruger is an art consultant who has worked in the gallery business for more than 20 years. Her company, Signature D Art Consulting, assists residential and commercial clients in finding the art they want and helps artists in placing and promoting their work. Excerpted from Her Own Way: Creating an Authentic Life.

In Your Journal: Taking a RIsk

When was the last time you took a risk? Not the kind of risk that could get you in trouble or place you in physical danger. But the kind where you ventured into the unknown or tried something new--realizing that it might not work, that you might not succeed, or that you might have to stretch beyond your comfort zone. Perhaps you took a chance on yourself or on someone else. Maybe you experimented with new techniques, tried a new strategy, or launched a new business--even though there were no guarantees.

Risk is closely associated with change, and change with growth. Change is about doing things differently. To grow, we must be willing to take risks and change the status quo. How much risk one should or is willing to take is a personal decision. At times, it is one that impacts others--especially a partner or family. What is your personal threshold for risk and change? What risk might you take in the near future that will allow you to make a positive change in your life, to stretch, and to grow?

My Favorite Things: The California Hills

The California hills may be lush and green right now. But I believe I like them best when they are golden. They are peaceful and inviting that way. You can hike along their trails and enjoy grand views of the Pacific. You can drive their narrow winding roads as if you were being filmed in a sports car commercial. The hills are dotted with native oaks, windswept from ocean breezes. They are the perfect spot for a picnic or for plein air painting, if you happen to do that sort of thing. Or you can simply find a spot to sit and enjoy the sunshine. Do you have a special place you go to relax, that speaks to your soul?

Life Balance Doesn't Just Happen

"Women are told they can havet it all--marriage, career, family and fun. I think this is a vast oversimplification. We're still humans who live on a planet with only 24 hours in a day. It's not really too difficult to imagine how all of these things might come together and impact each other. It does, however, require deep introspection about which of these things inspires the most genuine passion in us. I believe it's possible to come up with some pretty creative plans for job sharing, working from home, entrepreneurial pursuits, stay-at-home dads, and such--but it's still important to have thought through these issues and not just wake up one morning with a great job, partner, and new baby, and wonder how you're going to pull it all together."

Melanie Rothschild is a self-taught artist whose functional work has been sold in galleries and museum stores through the U.S. since the early 1990s. Her more recent non-functional artwork has been shown in galleries and is represented in private collections around the world. Excerpted from Her Own Way: Creating an Authentic Life.

In Your Journal: When Do Ideas Come To You?

Photo ©Lee Anne Whit

My best ideas tend to come to me in the shower. While weeding the garden. When taking the dog for a walk. While sleeping. On long drives. Or on the way home from yoga class. And I'm not alone in this. What about you?

Based on such responses, you'd think the answer to solving the world's problems would be for us all to stop working. Maybe there's just a bit of truth in that. Maybe we should all slow down, be present, and be in tune with the world from time to time and see what happens. 

Yet in reality, we really do have to work. We work hard and passionately on our creative projects. We investigate challenges thoroughly and explore every angle for resolving them. We make active progress toward our dreams.

But there comes a time when it is beneficial to walk away. To give it a rest. To get some rest. Or maybe get some exercise. To do something that gives the mind a chance to do its own thing rather that what we are telling it to do. We must allow for a period of incubation--for the mind to make connections, make sense of things, explore what's going on in the subconscious. That's why our best ideas often come to us when we're not even thinking about them.

So the next time you feel like you've hit the wall, are frustrated, or are just plain tired of dealing with it, walk away for awhile. Wash the dishes by hand. Water your container plantings. Take a hike. Or take a nap. And then go back to your project with a fresh mind.

My Favorite Things: Used Books and Bookstores

Although they are becoming more difficult to find, I love independent bookstores and especially used book stores.  I have a particular passion for old gardening books—the kinds with botanical prints or those in which gardeners have written notes about their own gardens. Once, I found a book in which the reader disagreed with the author on almost everything and filled the margins of the book with comments. In Wales, I stumbled upon a beautiful children’s book on gardening with a handwritten note tucked inside. I also love late 19th Century and early 20th Century books by women gardeners, which were usually penned about their own gardens through the seasons.

During the dozen-plus years I traveled extensively as a garden photographer, I discovered some great places for used books and frequented them whenever I was in town. Berkeley has lots of great used book stores: Moe's, Black Oak Books, Shakespeare & Co. among them. (Plus, you can visit Mrs. Dalloway's Literary & Garden Arts and Builders Booksource--specialty bookstores with new books.) In Portland, there is Powell’s Books—an entire city block and several floors, filled floor to ceiling with books. After visiting Powell’s, I carried a large, rolling suitcase filled with books to the airport and shipped my dirty laundry home in a box via UPS. (That probably has something to do with why the airlines charge so much for baggage these days.) Asheville, New York, and even New Preston, Conn., were also favorite destinations for used book stores. Not to mention that I still lament the loss of Oxford Books in Atlanta.

Without a doubt, however, my favorite destination for antiquarian books is Hay-on-Wye, Wales. Known as the "book town," this small community claims more than 30 bookstores and a major book festival. I have only been there once, but it's where I found Flowers Shown to the Children, which is the book that started it all.

Give Yourself a Break

"I have never been good at balance, but I am at my best when I work out, eat healthy food, and get off my own back. My life-long journey is to stop putting so much pressure on myself. As women, we tend to think we have to do everything better, work harder, or be all things to all people."

Liz Wilkinson has more than 20 years of experience in leadership, coaching , consulting, management and strategy development with companies such as Wachovia corporation, First Union Corporation and American Home Mortgage Servicing. Excerpted from Her Own Way: Creating an Authentic Life.

Moving On: Compassion in the Wake of Tragedy

My heart goes out to all of those impacted by the bombings at the Boston Marathon. I cannot begin to imagine the shock, anguish, fear and heartache that these individuals must have experienced and are coping with today.

When tragedy strikes, it has an enormous ripple effect--with the potential to touch us all in some way, even if it is simply from watching it unfold on television. Often, we know someone there—or who might be there—and worry about their safety. A dear friend of mine is attending graduate school in Boston. I knew that attending the Boston Marathon was on her "to do" list. So of course, I was concerned, and then greatly relieved to hear she had not been anywhere near the bombing site and was fine.

When the shootings occurred in Newtown, I could hardly bear to watch the coverage for fear of seeing the faces of friends. I had lived in Connecticut and worked in Newtown before returning to Georgia. Everyone in that town was impacted by the shootings, whether or not they had children in that school. People everywhere mourned the loss of those children and their teachers. They realized that it could have just as easily been their own children in another town.

And I remember, in the summer of 1996, the phone ringing in the wee hours of the morning. Alan was handling public relations for one of the worldwide Olympics sponsors, and someone was calling to notify him about the bombing in Centennial Park. We turned on the television to see what was happening and realized we had been standing at the exact site of the bombing just an hour before the explosion occurred, enjoying a concert. It wasn’t long before family members heard the news and began calling. They knew we’d been at Centennial Park that evening.

Yet what I remember most about that bombing is the train ride the following morning. We had tickets to events and, despite obvious uneasiness, felt compelled to head back downtown--not so much for the sporting events, but rather for some deeper calling that we did not quite understand at the time. The train was packed. Others had felt compelled, too. Instead of smiles and laughter, there were solemn expressions and whispers. People shared their fears with strangers: Had they made the right decision? Were they putting their families at risk? Would something else happen? But more importantly, they shared their determination not to let the violent acts of one person or group stop the Olympics from going on. The Olympics were about people coming together in peace from around the world in a show of community, friendly competition and celebration. There was an incredible sense of resilience and compassion on that train. Throughout the day, strangers nodded and spoke gently to one another. We all felt part of the same family--deeply saddened and somewhat frightened, yet also determined. There was an overwhelming feeling of kindness toward others that I had never experienced before in a public place.

Perhaps that is how we move forward. We summon up the courage to say: This is not acceptable. This is not how the story is going to end. You do not have power over us and we will not hide in fear. We are strong and we will move on.

Don't Know What To Do? Explore The Question.

How often do you hear someone say that they don't know what to do? Ever say that to yourself? Yes, sometimes life throws us true quandaries. Yet so many times, if we just take time to explore the questions, we'll discover that we actually know the answers. And when we don't, exploring the questions helps us move toward the answers and begin to gather the information or experience we need.

Think about that simple statement: "I don't know what to do."

Well then, what can you do? What would you most love to do? What would you do if no one else was looking? What are your options? What do you like most about each of those options? What challenges do they present? How might you overcome those challenges? Are they worth the effort? What potential might they lead to? Do you need assistance or resources? Where might you find them? Might there be other more appropriate options? What feels most compelling? Which might have the best short- or long-term benefits? Why don't you just try one? 

See what I mean? By exploring the question--or rather, the many questions--we can slowly begin to move toward an answer. Even if all it does is temporarily point us in a positive direction.

The Connections Between Curiosity and Creativity

I always enjoy reading Annie Murphy Paul’s The Brilliant Report, which is delivered weekly to my inbox. This week, she talks about curiosity, a subject near and dear to my heart because I believe it is essential for both learning and creativity. In fact, it is a common trait among highly creative individuals. But it’s not just a trait one is born with; it’s one that can be developed, as well. She refers to curiosity as “the engine of intellectual achievement,” noting that “it’s what drives us to keep learning, keep trying, keep pushing forward.”

She also quotes Carnegie Mellon psychology professor George Loewenstein, who wrote in "The Psychology of Curiosity: A Review and Reinterpretation" (1994) “Curiosity arises when attention becomes focused on a gap in one’s knowledge. Such information gaps produce the feeling of deprivation labeled curiosity.”

Admittedly, I’ve never thought of curiosity as a form of deprivation, but it makes sense. It’s about what we don’t know, haven’t experienced, or can’t see. Looking for gaps is a form of problem-seeking, the first step in the creative process. It’s when we ask: What’s missing? What’s not working? What could be changed or improved?

Yet curiosity can take us places other than gaps. We can go beyond gaps to new territory we’ve never explored before. Curiosity allows us to create a vision—to ask, “What if…?”

When we are curious, we not only ask questions, but seek answers and explore new subjects. In doing so, we are able to make new connections—often between seemingly unrelated subjects. We can also combine two or more objects or ideas to come up with something entirely new. So curiosity is also essential in the second step of the creative process—generating ideas.

I believe some of the key skills required for curiosity are observation, awareness, wonder and the ability to ask questions. The first three go hand in hand. It means slowing down, looking…really looking, and being aware of your first impressions, feelings, thoughts, and sense of wonder. It’s a skill that we must practice with regularity. The ability to ask questions is also a skill we can develop. We can put on our journalist’s cap and ask: Who? What? When? Where? Why? and How? Or we can draw questions from the creative problem-solving (CPS) process: What if…? How might I…? In what ways might we…? What else might explain this? How else might we…?

In time, and with practice, we can all learn to ask better questions, develop our sense of curiosity, and make connections between the various subjects that are of interest to us.

My Favorite Things: Pressed Flowers

Flip through my books and there’s a good chance pressed flowers or foliage will fall out. Not carnations or corsages, but wildflowers, ferns and fall leaves.

When I am organized, I preserve them in my flower press instead. And if I’m truly motivated, I’ll even frame them and hang them on the wall. The collection shown here was gathered during a walk in the woods with my dad many years ago.

I love pressed flowers and foliage for many reasons. They are beautiful. They bring back memories of walks, gardens and people. They are an inexpensive, yet lovely way to decorate. 

Last year, I pressed a large rice paper plant (Tetrapanax papyrifera) leaf. It measured more than a foot across. I placed it somewhere special so that it wouldn't get damaged while drying. Now that I'm ready to frame it, I wonder where that was. How does one lose a leaf that size inside a home?